Dictionary.com defines "Euphemism" as "the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt."
For example: When your child's pediatrician says, "This medication may make your child excitable," this is a euphemism.
In child medication terms, "This medication may make your child excitable" is a euphemism for "Here is some speed. Give it to your child twice a day for five days. It will make him feel better. Be prepared to peel him off of your ceiling. You will need a nice, strong spatula. Or a straight jacket. Maybe both. Sleep? Vampires don't need something so mundane as SLEEP so get over yourself, you don't either. Wanna see how fast he can run? Good, cause you will. Remember the Micromachine commercials with the fast-talking Micromachine man? He won't have ANYTHING on your kid. Did you know your kid could eat seven cinnamon rolls in one sitting? Cause he can. He would have eaten all eight if you hadn't dropped one on the floor. And honestly, he would have eaten it if you hadn't gotten to it first. You're going to go bankrupt feeding him, but at least it's at the grocery store of your choice. So good luck with all that."
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