A is for Apology

So. I decided to start a blog. Sometimes it will be funny; sometimes it will be happy; sometimes it will be angry. Hopefully, all of the time it will be at least mostly interesting and well-punctuated. If not, we'll call it stream of consciousness and I'm claiming artistic license now. God only knows how often I will update and how long it will last, but here goes.

I have wanted to start a blog for quite some time. One reason:  I have an opinion. A pretty loud opinion. And I am hoping that someone out there may agree with me...or even better, disagree with me. Another reason:  I ALWAYS see cute/funny/witty/insert adjective posts that I would love to have come up with myself, so maybe I'll luck out and entertain people while I'm here. Oh, another reason? My kids. They are the BEST and funniest people I have ever met and I think the world deserves to meet them...well, figuratively anyway.

So I'll start with the good part, the kids. My husband and I have two boys. Well, I say my husband AND I, but in reality my husband has two clones. No, seriously. Down to the birthmarks. Mayhem is 4 and Mischief is 8 1/2 months. Now wait, you're thinking. She's calling them by cute nicknames so we don't know their real names or to try and be snarky or whatever else you're thinking. No, we actually call them Mischief and Mayhem. They used to be Pooka and Piggy, but as their threat level has steadily increased, so has the strength of their nomers. They're not bad by any means, but you know that saying, "Oh, he's ALL boy!" Yeah. Somewhere in their history someone met my boys, thought of that phrase, found a time machine, and went back in time to coin it so that it could eventually be used to describe them.

My husband and I are competitive. We come from competitive families. We can make ANYTHING a competition. Anything. And God help the loser because we're both boastful winners and sore losers. Random trivia on TV? BOO-YA!! I got it right!! Name of an actor in a movie? HA! I knew it and you didn't! Is my husband's hand broken or pinky finger dislocated? AWWWW YEAH!! I TOLD you it was both! It keeps things interesting and fun. It's like fighting, but without crying and finger-pointing. We can also read each other's minds. Not in an, awww-they're-so-kitchy-and-cute-they-make-you-want-to-gag kinda way. It's more of a spooky, how-did-you-know-that or wow-you're-both-pretty-twisted type thing.

Something you might need to know about me:  My thought process is a bit disjointed. It doesn't go in a straight line. You never know when I'm going to pop off with one of those things that make you go huh??? Thankfully, my husband is on the same random page I'm on and I rarely have to explain myself. At least to him. For example:  Mayhem has huge feet. We always say if he's like a puppy and grows into them he's going to be huge (which wouldn't surprise me in the slightest because we have giants on my dad's and my husband's mom's sides of the families). Mischief has normal sized feet, but massive hands. Which my husband of course calls mitts. So one day he says something about Mischief's mitts and I giggle and say, we should call him Mitts Magee. WHICH HE IMMEDIATELY GETS. God I love that man.